Boy, I’ve done some boneheaded things in my life. So, I know just how bad that feels. But I’ve never done something that boneheaded on NATIONAL TELEVISION! Damn!
But let me try to put into perspective just how bad he must feel.
TY MONTGOMERY COULDN’T FEEL ANY WORSE…
…if he farted loudly at his grandmother’s funeral.
…if he discovered a cure for cancer…and then forgot it.
…if he accidentally ate a baby. (I don’t know how you ACCIDENTALLY eat a baby, but I guarantee you, if you did, you’d feel pretty bad!)
…if he just binged a marathon of Sarah McLaughlin puppy commercials.
… if he dropped last Tuesday’s winning Mega Millions ticket in a cross-cut paper shredder.
…if he dropped one of the puppies from the Sarah McLaughlin commercial in a cross-cut paper shredder.
…if he saw a vision of the future and all he saw was himself collecting unemployment checks and swapping stories with Brandon Bostick and T.J. Rubley.