Today’s area Gannett newspapers all have an article about six things you need to know before you vote. Well, Rick and Len have their own list!
SIX THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU VOTE
1. Polling places are generally schools, churches and municipal buildings so beware of crudely scrawled “vote here” signs on the sides of windowless panel vans.
2. Beau Liegeous is a candidate for eighth district congress not an exotic French soup made with fish and lentils.
3. If voting in Wisconsin’s 6th congressional district, before you buy any baked goods being sold at your polling place, make sure they were not made in the same bowl they use when cutting congressmen Glenn Grothman’s hair.
4. No matter what you’ve been told, under Wisconsin’s voter ID law, the interesting mole you have on your lower back is NOT an acceptable form of identification. Also, you should have that checked. It looks to me like cancer!
5. “Vukmir” is the exact same sound made when using an industrial toilet plunger to unplug your bowl the day after eating Indian food.
6. Registering to vote is just like registering for wedding gifts except instead of receiving mixing bowls and toasters all you get is democracy.