Well, it’s finally over. And with election day finally behind us, here are some handy tips from Rick and Len for what to do with your “I voted” sticker.
THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR “I VOTED” STICKER
- Send it to the winning candidate who you didn’t support accompanied by precise instructions telling them where you would like them to stick it.
- Tear it in half. Stick the two parts in your ears to avoid having to listen to even another second of political ads.
- Get two. Put them over your nipples. Dance around erotically tonight while watching Erin Davisson reads local election results.
- Change the V to a B and wear it to your yacht club… especially if it’s made up of bad spellers.
- Claim you can see the face of Jesus in the adhesive. Sell it on eBay for a year’s worth of beer money.
- Affix it to your genitals to use as a contraceptive. It won’t block fertilization but after your partner sees it and finds out who you voted for, there’s at least a 50% they won’t have sex with you.
- Fill it with weed, roll it up and smoke it to reduce the anxiety caused by voting for some of these knot heads.
- Wear it to a bar packed with political science majoring nymphomaniacs and get more ass than a toilet seat.
- Go to the produce department of your grocery store and switch it with one of the “Chiquita” stickers to confuse the hell out of banana shoppers.
- Try swallowing it. See if it makes you gag as much as you did choosing who to vote for.