Lion should be spelled L-I-O-N…
If it is spelled L-Y-I-N-‘…you’ve actually purchased tickets to The LYIN’ King…a musical about Bill Clinton or Donald Trump depending upon which side of the theater you prefer to sit on, the right or the left.
If it’s spelled L-I-N-E King you’ve actually purchased tickets to the LINE King a musical about Robert Downey Jr. in the 90’s.
If it’s spelled L-O-I-N King actually purchased tickets to the LOIN King a musical about a time former Green Bay Alderman Guy Zima was found with a pork loin in his pants.
If the name of the venue is abbreviated, your ticket should say Fox Cities P-A-C…
It says Fox Cities P-A-P, sorry, you’ve just booked a pap smear.
If the name of the venue is spelled out it SHOULD say Fox Cities Performing ARTS Center…
If it says Fox Cities Performing JARTZ Center…You’ve have bought tickets to see the Lion King, but it’s a production where Simba is played by Action 2 News’ Bill Jartz, making it the first time Simba is portrayed as having no neck.
If it says Fox Cities performing FARTS Center… congratulations. You’ve just bought tickets to come to the WAPL Studio during the Rick and Len Show.
If it actually says Fox Cities Performing SHARTS center, it’s a production of the Lion King where the leopards aren’t spotted by everyone’s underwear is.
If it says Fox Cities Performing TARTS Center you’ve actually purchased tickets to Beansnapper’s where you may see some big pussies but they won’t be lions.
