SmartAsset has named Appleton the 3rd best place in the country to live if you make at least $55,000 a year. What’s so great about Appleton? Here’s Rick and Len’s ideas.
WHY APPLETON IS THE 3rd BEST PLACE TO LIVE IN THE US.
- Downtown just as nice as Fond du Lac with only half as many urine puddles.
- When the wind blows from the north, the stank from Menasha is almost completely covered by the rotten eggs and monkey taint smell from Kaukauna.
- If you’re a business owner and have a problem you can contact city officials and the sound of them laughing at you is sure to bring joy to others.
- Good jobs available for the unskilled and uneducated as long as you’re not too embarrassed to work for the Post Crescent.
- Home of beautiful public art like the enormous penis-shaped sculpture at the north end of the Skyline bridge, artistically symbolizing the shafting you’re going to get when you pay your property taxes.
- Conveniently located close enough to Sheboygan that no matter what you do, it’s not going to seem that weird by comparison.
- The presence of more bars than churches means beer and whiskey more easily accessible than bread and wine.
- City parking meters helpfully collect all the change that would otherwise go to panhandling hobos.
- New Diverging Diamond perfect destination for Northeast Wisconsin thrill seekers too cheap to spend a dollar on Green Bay’s Zippin Pippin.
- With a Christmas parade in November, Octoberfest in September, and Independence Day fireworks on July 3rd, every day here is a holiday, except the days of actual holidays.