Some radio stations have garnered a ton of publicity by “banning” Baby, It’s Cold Outside” claiming it’s not PC. Well, we’d love some of that free pub so these are the Christmas songs we are banning on WAPL!
We are banning…Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer because it makes light of elder abuse.
We are banning…Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer because it celebrates the kind of excessive drinking that sometimes leads to one’s proboscis becoming rose colored and bulbous.
We are banning…Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas at least until they change the lyrics to “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Make the Yuletide LGBTQIA”.
We are banning…I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus because it could trigger a memory that your mother’s a whore.
We are banning…Oh, Come All Ye Faithful because it could make men with erectile dysfunction feel inadequate. That is also the reason we are banning Here Comes Santa Claus.
We are banning…The Chipmunk Song because it might be offensive Richard Gere.
We are banning…Jingle Bell Rock because it promotes holiday flavored crack. Jingle Bell Rock. Get it now in peppermint, chocolate and fruit cake.
We are banning…All I Want for Christmas is You because it celebrates bestiality (assuming “you” is spelled E-W-E).
We are banning…Little Drummer Boy for insensitively referring to the rum-pa-pum homeless as rum-pa-pum-bums.
(The homeless are not bums they are just down on their luck!)
We are banning…All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth because it’s offensive to meth heads. (that one courtesy of our friend and former colleague Karla Moore)
We are banning…Frosty the SnowMAN because we have no proof frosty’s a man having not seen ANY snowballs. So, it will be banned for now until they change the name to the more gender neutral “Frosty the Snowmosexual”
