TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT ALL THIS SNOW
- People seeking temporary warmth and shelter are reducing the state’s burgeoning invasive tauntaun population.
- As always, it gives you free reign to use the words “hunker down” for most of a week without sounding stupid.
- Yelling and cursing at the plow driver who just blocked your driveway dramatically improves your concise communication skills.
- The food at the hospital where you’re taken after suffering a heart attack while shoveling is a lot better than your cooking.
- You can build a snowman and pretend that he is Parson Brown and imagine how hard you’d have to be trippin’ balls to do that.
- With all the salt and ice on the roads, all we need is an over turned tanker truck of tequila and 41 is the world’s largest margarita.
- Freshly fallen snow gives drunks peeing in the streets of Fond du Lac a chance to practice their penmanship.
- For some reason the sound of Frankie MacDonald’s voice is the only thing that gives Rick a boner.
- Due do that nasty snowblower injury, you’ve now cut your glove and mitten budget by 50% for the rest of your life.
- It makes your life seem like a magical wonderland of winter delights instead of the alcohol-soaked internal hellscape of misery, failure and self-loathing that it really is. (or maybe that’s just Rick)
