https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZSOKaeSEpQ
The latest stupid internet challenge involves slapping babies in the face with slices of cheese. It seems somewhat more boarder-line abusive than entertaining to me but I mention it because they call it “The Cheese Challenge” OR “The Wisconsin Baptism”. Numerous people have pointed out that the “cheese” used is predominately Kraft American singles which aren’t actually cheese. This has lead people to speculate that a true Wisconsinite wouldn’t slap a baby with it. I disagree. I could certainly see a Wisconsinite using a Kraft American single to slap a baby. I mean, what else would a Wisconsinite do with it? Eat it? Gimme a break!
However, people are missing the point. Slapping or hitting a baby with a slice of cheese is not a Wisconsin Baptism. No, a REAL Wisconsin Baptism is when you lay on the streets of downtown Fond du Lac until some drunk “anoints” you with their amber holy water. With that in mind, let’s look at some other Wisconsin religious ceremonies.
Wisconsin Communion…just like regular communion except instead of wine you use beer, instead of bread, it’s cheese curds, and instead of church…um, you’re doing it right now, aren’t you? YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!
Wisconsin Confession…you sit in a bar drinking brandy old fashion until you tearfully come clean to the bartender that you weren’t really at the Ice Bowl.
Wisconsin Circumcision…that’s where your buns are too short you have to ceremoniously nip off the end of your brat to make it fit.
Wisconsin Stations of the Cross…That’s where, during a Packer game for which you do not have tickets, you travel from Anduzzi’s to Stadium View to The Bar to D2 and back again, saying a prayer at each of those sacred places that the Packers pull their heads out of the asses and come back to win in the 4th quarter.
Wisconsin Bar Mitzvah…that’s where, having reached the age of 13, a Wisconsin boy shows he has become a man and accountable for his own actions by proving he can drive himself home from a bar drunk.
[YOUTUBE]
