RULE CHANGES TO MAKE BASEBALL MORE INTERESTING
- Instead of just the catchers, all player must wear masks… preferably of their favorite super hero or Mexican wrestler.
- During odd number innings, the shortstop must be blindfolded.
- Whenever the count is 3 and 2, the pitcher must spin around until dizzy before throwing the ball.
- Routine fly balls will be made less routine by penalizing the batter with a demand for a blood sacrifice.
- Outfielders will be allowed to catch balls with large, colorful butterfly nets.
- You know those heavy donut shaped weights players put on their bats to warm up? The centerfielder will be required to wear one on his dong.
- In honor of all-time great, Babe Ruth, each team must field at least one player with an advanced case of syphilis.
- Instead of banning performance enhancing drugs, every team gets one guy whose ass has been poked more times than an aging porn star.
- Infielders gloves redesigned with pocket for small semi-automatic handgun they can use to stop base stealers.
1. During Fox Sports broadcasts, relief pitchers will warm up by throwing at a target above where Joe Buck is seated precariously atop a dunk tank full of urine.
