So, somebody in New Berlin won the third biggest lottery jackpot in US history. Rick thought he had a pretty good chance (despite not having bought a ticket!). Here’s what Rick would have doing with the winning!
WAYS I WOULD HAVE SPENT THE $768 MILLION DOLLAR POWERBALL JACKPOT
- He would have bought highway 41 and turned the usual location into an amusement park bumper car concession.
- He’d have filled every damn pothole from Marinette to Campbellsport with tasty Door County fudge.
- He would have hired a rabbi to circumcise that sculpture at the north end of Appleton’s Skyline bridge.
- He’d have built an enormous detention center to imprison anyone found guilty of saying “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?”
- He would have launched a project to improve Wisconsin by doing things like replacing water in the bong’s at Kenosha County’s Bong Recreation Area.
- He’d have funded a non-fiction summary of the Mueller Report.
- He’d have paid the estate of the Three Stooges to gain exclusive use the names Moe, Larry and Curley for his balls.
- He’d have bought a solid gold cork for former governor Scott Walker after hearing that his brown eye has become as lazy as his left one.
- He would have paid to send Larry McCarren to one of those fake gay conversion clinics to see if they can make his pinky straight.
- He’d have donated 50 million dollars to Children’s Hospital…if they let me stop by a couple times a year to fart on the preemies.
