WAYS THE PRESIDENT MAY HAVE LOST A BILLION DOLLARS
- Invested every penny in a chain of Kentucky dental clinics.
- Bought enough hambirders at McDonald’s to make them change the number served sign.
- Used it to bribe top universities to admit dumb ass children of celebrities.
- Purchased a couple dozen high performance automobiles and then drove them on our area pothole heavy roads for a couple weeks.
- Spent $20,000 on a top of the line industrial paper shredder and dumped the remaining 999 million 980 thousand inside.
- Charitably paid one dollar apiece to remove all Kardashian genital warts.
- Bought himself enough printer ink to last a person a whole year.
- Purchased something SO RARE it cost 10 figures…an entertaining episode of Murphy in the Morning.
- Had an esteemed artist make an exact 14 karat solid gold, diamond studded replica of his own penis at a cost of $500 million dollars an inch.
- Went to Vegas and put it all on the Vikes to win a Super Bowl.
