Yesterday, Manitowoc Mayor Justin Nickels checked an item off his bucket list by appearing on the Rick and Len Show. Inspired by that, Rick revealed his own bucket list today.
RICK MCNEAL’S BUCKET LIST
10. Work with leading plastic surgeons to make his dream of age-defying taint rejuvenation surgery a reality.
9. Make enough money to fund a charity to defray medical costs for mothers whose backs were broken by offspring who carelessly step on cracks.
8. Collect millions of dollars in royalties from Neil Diamond after finally convincing a judge that he wrote the “Da da da’s” in Sweet Caroline.
7. To learn to say “plantar fasciitis” as sexy as the guy in the commercials.
6. Star in a Polish porn film under the stage name “Kyle Basa”.
5. Get his ass so clean you could eat off it by squatting naked over Old Faithful.
4. Create canine ear plugs so that when Celine Dion hits those notes that only dogs can hear, they don’t have to listen to her either.
3. Get an implant in one of his man boobs that dispenses aerosol cheese from his nipple.
2. Live in a world where Kardashians are hunted for sport.
1. Receive a gift of free Taco Bell for life immediately after contracting a rare condition that causes him to poop gold nuggets.
