OTHER REASONS FOR THE CANCELLATION OF THE FOX CITIES MARATHON
- Course too slippery after people who came from Fond du Lac the night before didn’t realize you’re not supposed to pee in the streets.
- Confusion about abbreviations for “miles” verses “meters” resulted in course being only 85 feet long.
- Organizers feared runners passing through Menasha might collide with drunks still stumbling home from Saturday night at Jitter’s bar.
- Too many entrants from Little Chute had to drop out due to splinters in their feet from training while running in wooden shoes.
- WAPL listeners who entered because they were told it was a Boston qualifier dropped out when they learned that it didn’t mean that qualified them to win free Boston Cream tickets.
- All the bananas for the fruit station turned brown prematurely because you just can’t trust bananas.
- Most locals withdrew after learning that the hydration stations offered Lemon-Lime Endurance Formula Gatorade & Nicolet Water not PBR and Leinies.
- Too many complaints from entrants when told they couldn’t do the race on their Harleys’.
- Uppity residents of Fox Crossing didn’t want all those sketchy runners leaving footprints on their immaculately, unblemished streets.
- When they announced that HUNDREDS WERE RUNNING, confused locals were afraid they meant the Democratic Presidential candidates were in town and fled.
