A new title for title town! This week US News and World Report named Green Bay the Best City to Live in all America. Why? We know why!
REASONS GREEN BAY IS THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE
10. Neighbors willing to bend way over backwards for you… at least if that new neighbor is world champion gymnast Simone Biles.
9. Nightly newspaper has fewer pages to read than the bulletin of a modest sized church.
8. Price of a souvenir photo of you and the family in front of that spot they once almost built a Wal-Mart hasn’t gone up in over two years.
7. No matter where you live in the city, you are never more than a few minutes from Lambeau Field in the event that you have a hankering for a $10 beer.
6. Not only has more bars than churches, by 2030 will have more Kwik Trips than bars.
5. City has recently become 100% preening self-absorbed, family avoiding, shaman wannabe and horse paste enthusiast free.
4. Most homes in older neighborhoods come equipped with kitchen sinks that have hot and cold running booyah.
3. Butter covered hands after eating a burger from Kroll’s serves as excellent lube for after dinner wank.
2. Instead of relying on the Internet, you can just ask any questions you might have of Green Bay Jeopardy champion Ben Chan who knows everything.
1. Has also been recognized as the drunkest city in America. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
