They sport mustaches that they THINK make them look like Ditka but really make them look like they just left a leather bar with a name like The Man Hole.
They hail from a city that’s only positive contribution to our society was Al Capone’s syphilis.
They will quote Sean Connery from The Untouchables when he talks about “the Chicago way” without realizing that the real “Chicago way” is driving like spastic monkeys on their way to Door County where they brag about their money while treating the wait staff at bars and restaurants like crap and then leaving tips even smaller than their microscopic penises.
They think Jim McMahon was a great quarterback and Ditka was a great coach when the only the GREAT thing Chicago has produced was the Great Fire of 1871.
The name of their fight song, Bear Down sounds more like something you tell your partner as they bite the pillow before getting their booty plundered.
They still enjoy the Super Bowl Shuffle which falls somewhere between ass cancer and slamming your testicles in a car door on the list of worst things ever.
