Friday afternoon, Packers coach Matt LaFleur was inevitably asked and his press conference if Taylor Swift will be at Sunday’s game? His response was, “that’s what I’ve heard“. And that was enough to set every area Swifty‘s heart racing. But how much do we really know, as classic rock fans, about this woman,? So, I decided to do a little digging and came up with these admittedly…
UNVERIFIED FACTS ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT
Is the result of a late 80s breeding experiment by the same guy who created the Labradoodle.
Due to an unfortunate miscommunication between her management and the NFL, instead of performing the national anthem before the 2016 AFC championship game, she sang an impassioned version of “milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made”.
Her first big hit, the 2006 song “Tim McGraw“ was a heart-felt tribute to her all time favorite country music star…Blake Shelton.
Most of her songs are harder to listen to than the sounds of grandma playing a solo on grandpa’s rusty trombone.
Being known as the white Beyoncé not nearly the compliment she might think it is.
If they gave out trophies for bland, toneless music she would have more hardware than Ace True Value.
We know her as “Taylor Swift” but to native Americans she’s known by the name “Caterwauling White She-Devil Whose Singing Causes Blindness in Rats”.
Leading football scientists believe Travis Kelce was drawn to her because her trademark bright red lipstick is the exact same color as a baboon‘s ass.
While her lips look feminine and dainty, on several occasions, she has won bar bets by putting a carny’s entire fist in her mouth.
Was the landslide winner of season 12 of the NBC show America Does Not Have Talent.
Has no other siblings after killing and eating her identical twin while still in the womb.
Her song 15 is believed to be the only Billboard top 10 hit written about somebody’s sleep number.
Listening to of her boring ass songs is what made Matthew Perry fall asleep in that hot tub.
Her song “shake it off” was about her reaction to seeing a venereal wart on the tip of then boyfriend John Mayer’s penis.
[WBAY-TV]
