REASONS TO HATE DALLAS
10. The city has a higher concentration of a-holes than a $.75 hotdog.
9. They call themselves America’s Team despite having a history of players better known for supporting the economy of Columbia.
8. The Cowboys are the reason that the Monday Night Football broadcast team isn’t Joe Buck and some annoying, talentless has-been who isn’t Troy Aikman.
7. The Cowboys don’t realize that the one star on their helmets is a review not a logo.
6. The Cowboys couldn’t beat the Lions without the refs making a call fishier than a Kardashian pap smear.
5. Having to face Mike McCarthy is like having your ex-wife show up for Christmas dinner.
4. The Cowboy’s quarterback’s first name is Dak which is the sound of a duck with a speech impediment.
3. Made half the country lose their minds trying to guess “Who Shot Jr?” (Oops. That might be the wrong Dallas)
2. While wearing a foam rubber wedge of cheese on your head is silly it’s not nearly as ridiculous as a bunch of posers who couldn’t tell an Angus from their anus wearing cowboy hats.
1. Cowboys’ owner, Jerry Jones, has a heart blacker than a coal miner’s sputum.
[WBAY-TV]
