It’s a weird time for airlines. A few weeks ago, that Alaskan Airlines flight had a door blow off. Tuesday, a United Airlines flight was diverted when one of the wings started “coming apart”. And how are the airlines trying to endear themselves to people during this uncomfortable stretch? Well, American Airlines has chosen this time to raise the charge on checked bags.
So, what better time to review some signs… YOU MIGHT BE FLYING A BAD AIRLINE.
YOU MIGHT BE FLYING A BAD AIRLINE
If your pilot can’t say the word “cockpit” without giggling… you might be flying a bad airline.
If the bolts on the plane’s door are so loose, they’ve been mistaken for members of the Kardashian family… you might be flying a bad airline.
If the only black box on board is the one the Goth flight attendant uses to house her pet tarantulas… you might be flying a bad airline.
If you are unable to join the Mile High Club because the plane can’t make it to an elevation of 5,280 feet… you might be flying a bad airline.
If during sudden decompression of the cabin, the mask that drops down is one of Michael Dukakis left over from Halloween 1980… you might be flying a bad airline.
If the cockpit windshield has more cracks than a plumbers’ convention… you might be flying a bad airline.
If, before boarding, instead of scanning you for metallic objects with high tech magnetic imaging equipment, the security agent just whacks you several times with a rusty wrench and listens for clanking sounds… you might be flying a bad airline.
If instead of offering a blockbuster movie during the flight, they just show public domain news footage from 9-11… you might be flying a bad airline.
If in the event of a “water landing” the plane’s only available floatation devices are the flight attendants breast implants… you might be flying a bad airline.
If the pilot announces that, “If you look out the right side of the plane you can see the Grand Canyon but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT EVER YOU DO, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LOOK OUT THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PLANE” … you might be flying a bad airline.
If the nuts they pass out as snacks are ones they cut off passengers on a previous flight… you are definitely flying a bad airline!
