You know the old saying: teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for a lifetime, but throw a man’s fishing equipment in the river and you’ll get yourself arrested?
We are proud to name this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenies of the Week the still-at-large gentleman who, last week, approached three teenagers fishing off the trestle trail in Menasha. No word on if they were trying to catch the famous three-eyed fish like in The Simpsons. Normally, the only thing you can catch in Menasha is the herp, in fact the only way to cure getting jitterized is with the unfiltered water of the fox….
Ok, I’m sorry these jokes are too easy, cause you know it’s Menasha. But Menasha has come a long way, and it’s truly a very nice and beautiful community. It’s a place you can be proud to call home…
Back to our story. So three kids are fishing, two bullies come by and knock all their stuff into the river. No reason, just to be a-holes. Then they took off down the train tracks. According to Menasha police, they have identified the individuals thanks to surveillance footage at Fisk Park. The government is always watching, but so far, no arrests have been made.
They look like if Hot Cheetos and Monster Energy Drinks had a baby, this is the greasy result, so maybe they should have thrown themselves into the lake, but instead they threw multiple tackle boxes and fishing rods into the water. Where are their parents??
And as police officer Kate Lynch said, “This isn’t just frustrating, it’s personal.”
So for acting like middle school bullies and being little jerky mc jerkface poopersons, you’re the type of Bully that Nelson points at and goes ha ha. for being such a douche that Summer’s Eve called and they’d like to talk to you about being an influencer, and for being the type of teenagers that if Mr Rodgers was your neighbor he’d pack up and move, we are proud to name these two fish head dick heads of Menasha as this week’s Laure Lee & Cutter Weenies of the Week!
