We are proud to name as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the Week, a man who was just arrested for his 2nd OWI. I know that’s child’s play in Wisconsin, literally, actually, as there are probably kids in Wisconsin with at least 2 OWIs. Start ‘em young! But this guy didn’t just get arrested for Operating While Intoxicated; it’s in the manner in which he did it.
After driving erratically down Hwy 10, this 41 year old MAN was pulled over. Smelling of booze and acting like it too, the Police had him do a field sobriety test, and he blew. Are you ready for this? Because he blew more than an asian porn star in a bukake video. He blew a .427. That’s like legally dead for some drinkers! That’s like a drinking Vodka mixed with Absinthe for 2 days straight kind of blood alcohol level. And given that it’s his 2nd OWI, that makes this 21 times the legal limit! Because at a second OWI, you can only have a blood alcohol limit of .02, but holy crap, 21 times the legal limit is high! His alcohol level was so high that Cheech and Chong had to take a second hit. His alcohol level was so high that high school gym teachers everywhere immediately started drinking that emergency bottle in their desk; in fact, that blood alcohol level was so high that he immediately gave the cops the greatest gift of all, his duck call impersonation.
So for treating the first arrest like constructive criticism.
So for being so drunk the ignition interlock device filed a missing persons report.
So for stacking bad choices like a jenga tower and yanking the bottom block.
We are proud to name rhis drunken dip sh** as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the Week.
