We are proud to name as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the Week, a 46-year-old woman from Stoughton who got herself in a bit of a stinky situation.
Picture this, it’s the early morning hours, and you’re walking through a park on a nice trail, maybe it’s a bit cold outside, and all of a sudden that cup of coffee hits, or maybe it was the bacon, but all of a sudden your stomach is telling you something. It’s time, and there’s no waiting; a release is about to happen whether you want it to or not. What do you do?, What do…you do? Emergency situations call for emergency actions. There in the middle of that trail, your pants come of,f and a pile that would put your dog’s morning pile to shame is left where you were once standing. It’s ok, it happens. What happens, you ask? Well, Shhhhhhhh (you know) It happens. Now, if this were a one-time occasion, we’d understand. We’ve all been there once in our lives. But this was not that.
Recently, multiple reports have started coming in about human feces and used toilet paper being found in a city park on various days. The police, probably wanting to use some new toys, got out a drone. One of their drone operators then spotted something in the park on a cold February morning. Confirming what their trail cameras had also picked up, they found the same 46-year-old woman dropping a deuce at the park, complete with her own roll of toilet paper. At least after doing that the cold metal toilet at the jail won’t be so bad. Unfortunately, we don’t know why she was doing that. Maybe she was homeless, maybe she was rich, and that’s how she saved money?
So for defecating so much at the city park that the police had to go to DEFCON 2
For morning joggers, their runs turned into an Olympic event.. The synchronized gagging event.
And for having to upgrade their drone from birds-eye to turds-eye view…
We are proud to name this parkside pooper of Stoughton as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the week.
