We are proud to name as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the Week, John P Stalker, from Plover, and yes, that is his real name.
His name honestly sounds like a name they’d give the bad guy in a special episode of Family Ties.
Mr. Stalker was accused not of stalking but stalking adjacent by stealing women’s underwear. No that is not the lyric from a follow up Bob Rivers song although maybe he would steal the women’s underwear and then walk around in them? We’re not kink shaming we’re theft shaming. A Stevens Point woman had reported that all her underwear had been stolen from her bedroom. Nothing else, just her underwear. Thanks to video from a doorbell cam police saw him go to her place and leave, after he was arrested they found all her underwear in his backpack. Then the cops searched his place and found more gently used women’s underwear. While I’d like to say hey man go on only fans and ask a model to send you some of hers, for a price you can get it whatever shape you like, but he doesn’t look like he has a ton of money, to be honest he looks like he was recently fired from the chocolate factory.
Oompa, Loompa, doompa-dee-do
I’ve got some women’s panties for me
Oompa, Loompa, doompa-dee-dee
I’ll serve them up with a spot of tea
So for turning a burglary into a super uncomfortable laundry inventory, for not just being creepy, but being “felony-level” creepy and for being less grand theft auto and more grand theft undergarment..
We are proud to name this underwhelming underwear thief John P. Stalker as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the week
