A nightlife and lifestyle website for Chicago has some nice things to say about Appleton…and that’s the problem.
The article on Urban Matters calls Appleton “An A+ Small Town Getaway”. The writer, Pamela Dittmer McKuen, has high praise for the Fox Cities PAC, for the amazing chocolate from Wilmar’s, for the fantastic beers from Stone Arch and Appleton Beer Factory, as well as for the T-Rats, the Museum at the Castle, the downtown shopping and the breathtaking natural beauty of the Fox River, Heckrodt Wetland Reserve and Bubolz Nature Preserve. . So, how can any of that be a problem?
Simple. McKuen encourages people to visit here…from Chicago! What did we ever do to her? Oh sure, tourism is great and brings cash to the committee, but do we want it that bad if it means filling the city with FIBs?
For now, I’ll forego encouraging folks to pollute our waterways and bulldoze the PAC and Neuroscience Group Field. But steps must be taken IMMEDIATELY to prevent this pending inFIBtration.
I believe, for now, the Chicago invasion can be stemmed by making the local beers and Wilmar’s chocolates unavailable to potential Land of Lincoln Interlopers. The best way to do this is to put the beer and chocolate somewhere for safekeeping and out of their meaty flatlander mitts. While my apartment will be a tight fit, I’m willing to make it work. You know, for the community!



