If your only national TV appearance was 10 seconds of you getting hit in the nuts on America’s Funniest Home Videos…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If the only restaurant you can get in without a reservation is one where you eat pizza while being entertained by a large animatronic rodent…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If the rodents in the restaurant where you usually eat aren’t animatronic…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If when you’re introduced to a crowd, you see more blank stares than a room full of Kardashian at a quantum physics lecture…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If you have fewer people following you on Twitter than Jake Patterson used to follow home from Barron County Middle Schools…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If you ever missed a day at work at the Mexican strip club because your donkey wouldn’t get a boner…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If Eric Genrich spent his first day after replacing you as mayor of Green Bay shopping for an office chair that doesn’t have a booster seat…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
If the only place your name has appeared in Time Magazine is on the address label…you might not be one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People.
