If they are more covered in spots than a syphilitic leopard’s penis…your kid might have the measles.
If they have a high fever despite having plenty of cowbell…your kid might have the measles.
If they are covered with more dots than the floor of a poorly maintained movie theater…your kid might have the measles.
If the only thing they think MMRV stands for is Marilyn Manson’s Recreational Vehicle…your kid might have the measles.
If their skin is covered with more blotches than grandma’s winning card at blackout bingo…your kid might have the measles.
If their eyes are redder than Paul Manafort’s connections…your kid might have the measles. (Manfort had more Russian ties than the Moscow Men’s Warehouse)
If they appear to be as freckled than Ron Howard’s taint…your kid might have the measles…your kid might have the measles.
If you connect all the dots on their back it spells out “My parents are idiots” …your kid might have the measles.
If they are responsible for giving more people communicable rashes than the pole at Appleton’s old Paradise Club…your kid definitely has the measles.
