Sunday Danica Patrick inadvertently sparked pregnancy rumors with a poorly worded Instagram post. A few hours later she scrambled to issue denials that she and boyfriend Aaron Rodgers were expecting. But what if she were? We’d like to think Aaron would be a pretty good dad. Why? Here’s ten reasons. ..
REASONS AARON RODGERS WOULD BE A GOOD DAD
- Ready to assist with birth after spending years of putting his hands between someone’s legs.
- Should be able to easily throw dirty nappies into diaper pail from at least thirty yards…forty if it’s painted to look like Jordy Nelson.
- Will be able to teach newborn how to breastfeed by showing it game film from Packer’s long time Chicago rivals.
- Instead of buying Pedialyte to keep the child hydrated during illness, can just bring home the barrels of Gatorade that didn’t get dumped over Coach McCarthy’s head at the end of last two seasons.
- During prolonged labor would be sure to tell his partner to R-E-L-A-X.
- Years of playing alongside Greg Jennings made him so accustomed to prolonged crying it doesn’t even bother him.
- Has access to countless hours of old Ted Thompson press conferences which are better than any lullaby for putting a baby (or an adult, for that matter) to sleep.
- Should be good at applying soothing balm to baby’s sore behind after having to do the same for teammates after they got their asses kicked by the Lions in last season’s ender.
- Imagine the pride he’ll feel when baby’s first word is “Gutekunst”.
- When the diaper is too poopy for him to want to change, he can sit on the bench and let DeShone Kizer or Tim Boyle do it.
