It’s 2020, ‘The Jetson’s’ lied to us about flying cars – but ‘Rosie’ (their robot maid) is kinda like a Rumba – so let’s call it even. Regardless… I was hoping for some more futuristic food by this time of my life.
Where’s the Wonka-esque innovations in food I’ve been promised by sci-fi movies? Be honest, you thought sometime in your lifetime you could take a pill and experience all courses of a Thanksgiving day dinner in one gulp. I guess ‘Beyond Meat’ (Impossible Whopper) is the latest item on that short grocery list but that’s not the ‘Dippin Dots’ revolution I was hoping for.
While I was grocery shopping – which is an activity some of you know as ‘Toilet Paper Hunger Games’ – I noticed, sitting in a slightly-disheveled, canned meat section, ‘Spam Fries’. And just like that, the next-level, meat-wizardry that is our favorite pork/ham amalgam (amalgHAM?) appeared before me. The delicacy is described as “fry-shaped pork fritters.” They look like Spam Patties – a breaded version of Spam – cut up to look like french fries. I should probably admit I am a ‘Spam Fan’. I go back to the dangerous ‘key’ you used to have to open the can with. OG.
And, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t pull the pin (or turn key) on the enticing Spam Fries – accepting the probability that even in the most dire of times Spam Fries might be the last item on the shelf after the pandemic or be looked upon along (with Twinkie’s) as mankind’s last true delicacy.
I’m just not willing right now to accept either scenario.
Spam. Spam. Spam.
