Aaron Rodgers’ Hair is Greasier Than… [AUDIO/VIDEO]

Right now, I’m guessing most of us have seen the new “look” that Aaron Rodgers unveiled while making his appearance at training camp on Monday. He has gone from Keanu Reeves in the John Wick movies to Nicolas Cage in Con Air. But frankly, I don’t care if he dresses like Sophia on the Golden Girls, as long as he keeps winning. But it’s the hair that kind of bothers me. Not the length, obviously. No, it’s just that it looks dirty. You know, oily, greasy. How oily and how greasy?

Aaron Rodgers hair is…

So oily his comb has a viscosity of 10 W 40

So oily Olive Garden combined it with vinegar to make a salad dressing.

So oily the U. S. might invade it!

It’s even oily or than Rudy Giuliani‘s forehead.

I mean it is so greasy! It is…

Greasier than the paper wrapped around your Kroll’s double cheeseburger

Greasier than a Waffle House kitchen fire.

Greasier than Colonel Sanders’ pre-licked fingers.

Greasier than a sausage, pepperoni and Valvoline pizza.

Greasier than a tube of bacon Bryl-cream.

In fact, I have it on good authority, that Aaron Rodgers hair is greasier than a porn star’s butthole!