Nobody won the Tuesday 1.2 BILLION dollar Powerball jackpot on Tuesday. This means that it jumps to $1.5 billion! That’s right, 1 1/2 billion dollars! Rick McNeal feels pretty inconvenienced that he has to keep having to buy tickets every few days. How can they make winning 1,500,000,000 dollars this this difficult? Rick also points out, that it will be just his luck that when he wins the jackpot he’ll have to split it with another winner and ONLY get $750 million.
WHAT RICK SAYS HE WILL DO WHEN HE WINS THE $1.5 BILLION DOLLAR POWERBALL JACKPOT WAD
10. Buy highway 41 and turn the usual location by Ballard in Appleton into an amusement park bumper car ride.
9. Fill every damn pothole from Marinette to Campbellsport… with tasty Door County fudge.
8. Hire a rabbi to circumcise that sculpture at the north end of Appleton’s Skyline bridge.
7. Build an enormous detention center to imprison anyone found guilty of saying “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?”
6. Replace the barrels of Gatorade on the Packer sidelines with ayahuasca tea so Aaron could at least hallucinate that he’s winning.
5. Buy a round of shots for every person of legal drinking age in the state of Wisconsin every time I hear the word “radical” in a political commercial.
4. Pay the estate of the Three Stooges to gain exclusive use the names Moe, Larry and Curley for my balls.
3. Have the buttocks of my enemies massaged with the coarsest sandpaper and then make them squat in a bowl full of gin.
2. Pay to send Larry McCarren to one of those fake gay conversion clinics to see if they can at least make his pinky straight.
1. Donate 50 million dollars to Children’s Hospital…if they agreed to let me stop by a couple times a year to fart on the preemies
