WHAT RICK WAS REALLY WAS DOING (MAYBE) LAST WEEK
10. Writing more love poems to send to Taylor Schabusiness.
9. Helping Mark Murphy find new and exciting ways to piss away an opportunity to secure something of value from the Jets.
8. On the slopes in Utah knocking Gwyneth Paltrow ass over tea kettle just for fun and not a cheap attempt to milk her for a million bucks.
7. Traveling the country telling dick and fart jokes for money while Mike Merryfield took my place here.
6. Was trying to adjust to life without thumbs after betting big on Marquette to win it all.
5. Tried to get a little peace and quiet while sharpening my knife collection in the men’s room of the De Pere Wal-Mart.
4. Was hungover from drinking way too many Tammyritas and Irish Jartz Bombs at WBAY 70th anniversary bash.
3. Hiding behind my couch, cowering with dread, afraid to leave my apartment after seeing and hearing too many ads from Wisconsin Supreme Court candidates?
2. Was digging through cookbooks, looking for delicious CROW recipes that area meteorologists can use before chowing down after this weekend’s snowfall.
1. After being confused by the sight of the northern lights, spent a couple days trying to determine if Aaron Rodgers dumped Ayahuasca in our water supply.
