Here’s some suggestions for inscriptions you could put in your do it yourself Mother’s Day card. I’m sure at least one will fit your situation.
1.) This here card
is just to remind ya . . .
That I once lived
inside your vagina.
2.) You’re the best mother ever
we all can agree.
Which makes it sad I’m blowing you off Sunday
to go see guardians of the galaxy 3.
3.) You tried your best as a mother
But I know parenting is hard
I’d love you so much more
If you hadn’t kept me chained up in the yard.
4.) As a helicopter parent
I know you feel your work’s never done.
But I’m 37 years old, ma
You can stop wiping my bum.
5.) As mother’s go,
you’re as good as they get
I love you more than anyone
since Aaron Rodgers left for the Jets.
6.) Roses are red,
violets are blue . . .
we live in Kentucky,
so you’re my girlfriend, too.
7.) I think of you as a queen
Maybe it’s because
Your mustache is as thick
As Freddie Mercury’s ever was.
8.) On this Mother’s Day, mom
I hate to be a bother
But have you narrowed down the list yet
Of who might be my father?
9.) Mother oh, mother
I love you to bits
I just wish you’d stop drinking
All of my Schlitz
10.) As a mother, you were pretty good
In fact, You were better than most
But world’s greatest mom
Is a title claimed by congressman George Santos
11.) I ain’t never been so smart
And I’m kind of ugly
But I forgive you mom
For drinking like a fish when you were pregnant with me.
