If his college nickname was “fumble nuts”…you might not want to draft him.
If he has more trouble staying upright than a 90-year-old man’s penis…you might not want to draft him.
If his back is unusually hairy and his testicles unusually shrunken and he’s not even on steroids…you might not want to draft him.
If he’s a quarterback who is less proficient at throwing the football than he is at throwing a fit… you might not want to draft him.
If the only scoring he did in college was with underage girls… you might not want to draft him… you might not want to draft him.
If finding an open Walgreen’s to pick up a bottle of Ibuprofen is not what they’re talking about when they mention his drug problems… you might not want to draft him.
If during his college career he caught fewer passes than STDs …you might not want to draft him.
And if he has a harder time hanging on to a football than a Menasha girl with seven brothers has hanging on to her virginity… you definitely don’t want to draft him.
