We are proud to name as this week’s Laura Lee and Weenie of the Week, Katrina Kitzman of Little Chute, who legit ran over a cop. Buckle up for this one, literally. Last Friday at about 2:40 am, which and there’s your first problem. We all know nothing good happens after midnight except for maybe a backstage party, don’t think they were having one of those at Saint Joseph’s Church. Getting down on that ceremonial wine! So Ms. Kitzman was in her car in the parking lot where a fight had broken out. The police had arrived when she decided she’d had enough and started driving her car towards the crowd of people. Instead, she turned a little and headed towards two police officers. One jumped out of the way, and the other, she ran over his legs. She treated the cop’s legs like they were a speed bump in front of Petco. Thankfully, he was treated and will be ok. Then she took cops on a chase, but not a long one. And when she was pulled over, she had a THC vape pen, but more importantly, she blew a BAC of point 218, which is a lot for a 21-year-old woman. Well, it’s a lot for 41-year-old man who weighs a solid 250. We keep learning over and over again Don’t drink and drive kids. After she was caught and arrested, she was charged with:
-First-degree recklessly endangering safety
-Battery to a law enforcement officer
-Attempting to flee or elude an officer
-Hit and run – injury
-Obstructing an officer
-Possession of THC
-Operating while intoxicated, causing injury – 1st offense, with a BAC of 0.15 or more
That’s breaking more laws at one time than P Diddy at a party with baby oil.
So for Katrina, learning how to drive by playing Grand Theft Auto and still getting it wrong.. You’re supposed to run over the hookers, not the cops.
So for Katrina, possibly breaking some sort of Guinness world record for racking up 7 charges in less than 5 minutes
And for people who blame Mercury in retrograde for everything.. Uh, you might actually be on to something. Mercury WAS in retrograde that night.
We are proud to name the high-speed, one-hit wonder, Killer Katrina Kitzman as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the Week.
