We are proud to name as this week’s Laura Lee and Cutter Weenie of the week the Eau Claire Fleet Farm Retail Fail Pair
Eau Claire’s Fleet Farm’s Loss Prevention team is doing their job and their usual routine and watching this same particular guy who’s tried to steal from them so so many times. So many times that they basically know his Starbucks order. Also, he’s banned. Like, don’t even roll up in our parking lot kinda banned. But there he is again, loading up a cart like it’s Black Friday and everything is 100% free. Police show up, and he dashes out of the store with the entire cart, makes a beeline for the getaway car, and tries to dive into the passenger seat like he’s in a low-budget action movie. Not shockingly, officers catch him before he can even shut the door. He resists arrest, because of course he does, but eventually gets cuffed because physics and decision-making are not on his side.
Meanwhile, and really kinda the best part of this whole story, the driver of the getaway car, is watching his buddy get dragged off, and apparently thinks, “wow, this is stressful… you know what would help? A joint.” So yes, while police are arresting his friend, he leans back, pulls out a joint, and lights it up like he’s at an outdoor concert, and not at the scene of an arrest he is very much a part of. The police arrest him for possession of THC and retail theft from an earlier incident, because these two really said “we’re in this together,” and the first guy from this story gets booked on retail theft and two outstanding warrants.
So for the only thing being higher than the driver in that parking lot was the amount of charges they racked up, for having more charges against them than items that were stolen, and for having to say dude where’s my getaway car only to have that guy arrested too.
We are proud to name two guys that even made cheech and chong go duuuuuuude, what? As this week’s laura lee and cutter weenies of the week.
[LL&C]
