POLICIES THAT WOULD BE LESS POPULAR THAT SEPARATING CHILDREN FROM THEIR PARENTS.
- Only Americans on Forbes 500 list will be allowed to eat ice cream.
- All women between the ages of 18 and 65 only allowed to speak in a voice like Kim Kardashian or Fran Drescher.
- Replace Thanksgiving with National Day of Flossing.
- Every American required to take a leak on Mr. Roger’s grave.
- Filmmakers forced to remake Black Panther movie starring only white actors with the role of Killmonger going to Ron Howard’s odd younger brother Clint.
- All internet porn replaced with Chicago Bears highlight films.
- In an effort to make American’s more fit, all TV remote controls…banned!
- George Washington on the dollar bill will be replaced with a close-up photo of Rosie O’Donnell’s ingrown back hairs.
- All airline passengers will be required to sit in the middle seats between two fat guys with crying babies on their laps.
- Replace the broadcast of the Super Bowl with 4 hours of White House senior advisor Steven Miller strangling kittens.
