SIGNS THIS MIGHT NOT BE YOUR TEAM’S YEAR
If your starting running back has had his bell rung so many times he thinks he’s a church…this might not be your team’s year.
If all opposing teams’ d-backs keep your receivers more tightly covered than your eyes at a senior citizen strip club…this might not be your team’s year.
If the teams they play against, put up W’s as frequently as sign makers in Walla Walla, Washington…this might not be your team’s year.
If they have more trouble moving the ball than the Little Chute Cheesefest cheese eating champ has moving his bowels… this might not be your team’s year.
If many of your starting players first got involved in football through a program called Punt, Pass and Suck…this is might not your team’s year.
If your season opener is against a division opponent whose quarterback has a rifle for an arm while your team used to have a quarterback that has a sprinkler system for eyes…this is might not your team’s year.
If your team colors are the same as Tide Pods and watching them makes you just as sick as eating one…this, like every year since 1985, is definitely not your team’s year.