THINGS GREEN BAY ALDERMAN GUY ZIMA IS GOING TO DO NOW THAT HE’S NO LONGER ON THE CITY COUNCIL OR COUNTY BOARD
10. Make appearances at area summer festivals and shopping malls dressed as Captain Underpants.
9. Make his mark on the city by sneaking into Bay Beach late at night and changing the name on the rollercoaster to the Zima Pippin.
8. Go to Lenscrafters and, for the love of God, get fitted for a pair of glasses that he doesn’t have to wear at the end of his nose.
7. Try to make himself seem younger by changing first name from “Guy” to “Dude”.
6. Stage a one-on-one competition with Gags to determine who is really Green Bay’s official evil clown.
5. Open a charm school.
4. Try to sell Johnsonville on the idea of marketing a sizzling sausage grill that looks like his crotch.
3. Enter 2018 Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade where an enormous bag of hot air is appreciated.
2. Show up at a Packer home game armed with an assault rifle or run for mayor…whichever one would scare the hell out of more Green Bay residents.
1. Insult Mayor Schmitt, swear at council members, make crude, sexually inappropriate comments to city hall staff, and yell at city employees until they cry …but on his own time.
