Ratings for the Super Bowl were their lowest in 11 years! Some attribute it to “Patriot fatigue”. Rick and Len have some other ideas on how to improve ratings.
WAYS FOR SUPER BOWL TO IMPROVE RATINGS
10. Let back-up quarterbacks take turns on the side line throwing footballs at Roger Goodell in a dunk tank full of hungry piranhas.
9. Make the game more exciting than watching a 6-week-old labradoodle crap himself during the first quarter of the Puppy Bowl.
8. How about dropping this year’s rule that said the NFC team had to stop scoring when their number of points matched their number of fans.
7. More steamy, will they or won’t they, sexual tension between Tony Romo and Jim Nantz.
6. Have they considered a half-time show that isn’t harder on the ears than a Q-Tip made from glass shards?
5. Make Tom Brady play at least one quarter with an angry ferret in his pants.
4. If you must have a performance by rapper Travis Scott, bleep everything EXCEPT the curse words.
3. After the Mountain from Game of Thrones dispatches the Bud Light Knight, let him and his dragon friend do the same to Belichick. Dilly, dilly!
2. When the best ad of the game is the one for the 100th anniversary of the NFL, maybe try including at least one player from the team whose coach they named the Super Bowl trophy after!
1. Let the nearest person not enjoying the performance by Maroon 5 cut off Adam Levine’s nipples and use them as ear-plugs.
