THINGS YOU CAN DO SAVE THE PLANET AND CELEBRATE EARTH DAY THIS YEAR
10. Turn off your cell phones and communicate the old fashioned way…with smoke signals you can easily make by burning old car tires.
9. Instead of using over the counter sleep aids that are manufactured creating dangerous chemical by-products, try getting to sleep using natural means like drinking warm milk or watching Fox 11 news.
8. Get rid of your energy-burning air conditioners and come summer, reduce your own body temperature the natural way…by eating steady diet of Cool Ranch Doritos.
7. Don’t stand with the refrigerator door open while you decide what you want to eat when you can conserve energy by simply climbing inside.
6. The next time you change the oil in your car, recycle the old stuff by using it to deep fry a turkey.
5. When grocery shopping, instead of using non-biodegradable shopping bags, just cook and eat all your purchases in the store.
4. Be like WIXX and get people to save energy by airing a morning show so lame they can’t help but turn off their radios.
3. Don’t flush your toilet every time you have to use the restroom when you could save thousands of gallons of water each year by simply driving to Fond du Lac and taking a leak on the sidewalk.
2. Do like we do, and preserve important natural humor reserves by continually recycling the same jokes.
And the number one thing you can do today to save the planet and celebrate earth day….
1. Put on your scarf, stocking cap, heated gloves, winter coat, snowmobile pants and fur lined boots and plant a festive spring garden.