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Interactive » Blog
dec 6th

On Black Friday, the "Friends of Scott Walker" sent out this fund raising letter encouraging people to donate to the governor's reelection campaign rather than waste money on toys and electronics for the kids this Christmas. Some people think this idea stink, stank, stunk. For those people, here's....


Every Sconnie who lived in Wisconsin liked Christmas a lot.
But the Scott who lived in Madtown…simply did not.

The Scott hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.
Now please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all at long lost.
May have been that the Scott’s…eyes were too crossed.

You see, on Black Friday, a message was sent to the whole Sconnie nation.
Soliciting from them, a monetary donation.

Instead of buying your Sconnie children toys and what not.
This Christmas give them the gift, of four more years of Scott.

"Instead of venturing into the cold this Black Friday" it read.
"Stay in and give your children the gift that will keep giving", instead.

"Electronics or toys will be outdated, broken, or lost by the next year" was his reason.
Instead give your children the gift of a Wisconsin that we can all be proud of” this season.

Imagine little Bonnie Sconnie and her tiny bro Johnny.
Waking up on Christmas morning, expecting a present Tsunami.

And instead they are greeted by their parents with their eyes all aglow.
“No toys from Santa this year. We gave The Scott all our dough”.

In a flash the Sconnie kids dreams of games, dolls and toy cars.
Replaced with the promise of a brighter Wisconsin future…and of course the deep psychological scars.

While way back in Madtown, The Scott is counting his money like crazy.
Because the Scott is as hard working, as the Scott’s left eye is lazy.

And they say that The Scott’s election coffers grew three sizes that day.
Much to all the Sconnie children’s dismay.

Still the Sconnie children will have cause for celebration.
Cuz maybe they’ll receive a photo of The Scott as a thanks for the donation.

And from that the Sconnie children all can take heart.
They can ask Santa, next year, for a nice set of darts.