We are proud to announce that for a limited time only, we have been authorized by the NFL, the National Flimflam League, to sell shares in the Rick and Len Show.
For just $250, you will receive a handsome Rick and Len Show Stock certificate printed in glorious black and white on whatever cheap stock of paper happens to currently be in the WAPL office copy machine. Your Rick and Len Show stock certificate will be suitable for framing and is sure to brighten up your prison cell, half way house, mental health facility activity room or where ever it is that you usually masturbate.
The Rick and Len Show Stock Certificate will show others that you are the kind of person who recognizes THE VERY BEST in area radio broadcasting and yet, are gullible enough to pay money to support this crap instead.
We know that it’s the fans of the Rick and Len Show that separate us from every other radio show. As a Rick and Len Show shareholder you will be part of a proud tradition, one that recognizes that a shortage of talent combined with a juvenile sense of humor and an almost crippling lack of ambition can achieve truly mediocre results.
Be assured that your $250 will go to good use. We know you work hard for your money and we’ll work just as hard to spend it. Every penny of your investment in the Rick and Len Show will be quickly reinvested in the community and will help in supporting numerous area bartenders, beer and liquor distributers, and hot young single mothers who are only taking their clothes off to earn money for college.
What’s more, shares of stock in the Rick and Len Show are guaranteed to have the exact same market value as shares of stock in the Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers, the most storied franchise in professional sports.
The benefits of owning stock in the Rick and Len Show are many. While shares in The Rick and Len Show can’t be resold, pay no dividends and will only decrease in value, the stock certificates themselves can be used in case of emergency should you run out of toilet paper and you no longer happen to subscribe to your local Gannett newspaper.
The certificates also make excellent kindling for burning your home down for the insurance when you can no longer afford to pay your mortgage because you wasted all your money on worthless shares of stock.
We truly hope YOU will consider buying shares of stock in the Rick and Len Show. Rick and Len Show Stock: Because an opportunity like this only comes along once in a life but suckers are born every minute.