February 18th Shawano County
A 911 call was received that sheriff’s deputies believe was a “pocket dial”. According to the report, all that could be heard was the sound of an adult male saying, "Flush the toilet when you poop and get your finger out of your nose" followed by the sound of a child saying "Why are there so many rules?"
February 14th City of St. Francis
Police were called to a home where an angry 36-year-old woman had reportedly drunk one and a half bottles of wine in 40 minutes. She then directed her anger at the boyfriend, throwing a skeleton-shaped bank that she had purchased for him as a Valentine’s Day gift at his head. The woman then poured a flavored ice drink she had purchased from a gas station over the man’s head. The altercation continued as the man then took a vase containing flowers he had purchased for her as a Valentine’s Day gift and dumped the flowers and water over her head, saying “Happy f’’n Valentine’s Day.” The woman then threw the skeleton bank at the man’s head a second time, this time striking him and smashing the gift. She then began kicking the man in the groin, to which he reportedly responded by saying “Please stop kicking me in the balls.”
February 17th City of Oak Creek
A 32-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct after he spit at a woman and her son during a verbal argument. According to the victim, the man allegedly spit at the boy and the spit bounced off the boy's head and hit the woman in the left cheek area.
February 14th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report there are “vampires in the city … and he had marks from them.” Police spoke with the man who “had two bites on his forehead that looked like popped pimples.” The man said the vampires work at an auto store “and look like regular people except … their faces are blue because they are dead and they are able to get into his apartment through the walls.”
February 17th City of Wittenberg
Some children came to the Police Department and turned in a set of dentures they found on the sidewalk outside the hardware store.
February 10th City of Waukesha
A caller told police he had gone out on his balcony and stripped naked after he had received a call from two men identifying themselves as detectives who instructed him to do so, so they could make sure he didn’t have a weapon. Police informed the man that someone was playing a prank on him and that if he received any more calls instructing to take off his clothes on his balcony, he shouldn’t do so.
February 4th City of Greenfield
A woman called 911 requesting assistance for her boyfriend who was having some kind of reaction. When questioned by police, the woman admitted that the reaction started after the boyfriend smoked her Fentanyl patch, prescribed to the woman for chronic pain management. Police also found a crack pipe in the man’s pants pocket. The man told police he hadn’t smoked crack in a long time and that it must have been in his pocket for a years.
February 5th City of Madison
Police cited a 60-year-old man at McDonald’s after the man created a disturbance at the nearby Hong Kong Café. The owner of the café said the suspect was asked numerous times to leave since he was just hanging out and not dining and he eventually sat down on the dining room floor in the middle of the restaurant, asking “Why are you hating on me?" When police searched the man, they found he had 75 chopsticks in his right pant leg that he admitted stealing from the Hong Kong Café.