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oct 20th
WAYS TO TELL STAR WARS CHARACTERS HAVE GOTTEN OLDER


WAYS TO TELL STAR WARS CHARACTERS HAVE GOTTEN OLDER

Han Solo…. used to make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Now it takes him damn near a full parsec just to make the bathroom run twelve times every night.

Chewbacca…his hair would be totally gray if he wasn’t coloring it with “Just for Wookies”.

Princess Leia…still wears the metal bikini but keeps bruising her knees on the bra.

Luke Skywalker…Now, just to get around, needs a Skywalker-walker.

C3PO…to keep from rusting, goes through more lube than Hugh Hefner.

The Stormtroopers…despite them all now wearing bifocals, still can't hit the broad side of a Death Star.

Bobba Fett…still a bounty hunter in that he always seems to be hunting for his roll of Bounty to clean up embarrassing spills from his colostomy bag.

Admiral Ackbar…now when heard yelling his iconic phrase “It’s a trap”, he’s usually warning against buying the over-priced extended warranty on mobility scooter.

Jabba the Hut…despite slimming down with gastric bypass surgery, remains one of the most reviled characters in the universe after marrying a Kardashian.

The Force…while once was a metaphysical, spiritual, and ubiquitous power able to accomplish miraculous feats, now has to send Jedis to NuMale Medical just to help them get their light sabers up.

Yoda…the ever wise puppet is now almost 940 years old. Even Elton John hasn’t had a hand up his butt that long.