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jan 19th


Every time President Trump mentions the wall, drink a shot of tequila since I’m guessing the price on that stuff is going to be going way up real soon.

Whenever they show the President’s sons, Eric and Donald Jr, in their honor, drink two shots…of Bryl-Creem.

If the new President takes the oath of office on a miniature bible to make his right hand look bigger...drink a beer out of mug so enormous that it makes your hands look just as tiny as his.

If President Trump eschews using a bible and instead takes the oath of office with his right hand on Vladamir Putin’s left nipple…chug a whole bottle of premium Russian Vodka.

If when Hillary shows up, instead of locking her up, he just grabs her by the coochie... drink whatever you’ve got until your arms flail about like you’re the president mocking a disabled reporter.

If they show Bill and Hillary acting like a happy, loving couple... drink something that's going to taste just as good coming back up and it was going down.

Every time MS-NBC shows a shot of Chris Matthews, take a drink...of anything just to take your eyes off the TV long enough so you don’t find yourself staring at his very last Obama boner.

If you see President Trump use his inaugural speech as an opportunity to finally release his tax returns drink… a couple Red Bulls because, if you think he's going to do that, you need to wake up becuase you’re dreaming.

If the Russian hookers show up and confirm that one story, drink anything to fill your bladder with enough urine the president pays you to ruin a hotel bed.

If Kanye West interrupts the President’s speech with “Yo Donald, I'm really happy for you. I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce deserves to be president” …stop drinking, you’re going to want to clearly remember every moment of his secret service beat down.